How to Confront Someone

Confronting another person is incredibly difficult, but being assertive in this situation can actually create a more positive relationship. One of the skills you can learn to deal with a confrontational situation is to try to keep in mind different parts of the confrontational “I” statement:

• The first part begins with when. You tell another person the specific behavior that is causing the problem. Here are examples: “When you drop your clothes and leave your shoes around the house” and “When you interrupt me.”
• In the second part, you describe the tangible effect the behavior or problem has on you: “When you drop your clothes and leave your shoes around the house, I trip over them.” “When I’m interrupted, I don’t get to finish what I am saying.”
• The third part describes your feelings that result from the tangible effect: “When you drop your clothes and leave your shoes around the house, I trip over them, and I’m afraid I’ll fall and get hurt.” “When I’m interrupted, I don’t get to finish what I’m saying, and I’m frustrated that I can’t say everything I want to.”
• The last part states what you’d like instead: “I would like you to put your clothes and shoes in the bedroom when you come home at night.” “I would like to be able to finish my sentence before you begin to talk.”

The confrontational “I” statement is just one of the useful skills you’ll learn in Get Assertive! It’s time to speak up for yourself!

Vivian Harte teaches Get Assertive! for ed2go

ed2go Online Courses- Assertive & Communication Skills Training:

Achieving Success with Difficult People

Interpersonal Communication

Individual Excellence

Keys to Effective Communication